Tales of Transcendence

The Brotherhood of Man

Self-Leadership is about coaching yourself towards renewal. What is your coaching style? Which questions will disturb you the most?

Let me tell you a story of two brothers.

Our son is a born master coach. I could go through all the coach training programs in the world and never reach his starting level of transformative questions.

Here are some of his questions during the years… I have failed in answering these. If you have any ideas, please help me:

  • (8 years old, looking over my shoulder at an email I’m writing) “Dad, what is this… what are you actually trying to do at work? You’re allways busy, but I don’t see why?”
  • (12 years old, reading the newspaper) “It seems that you guys have messed up this planet, and now it’s up to us to clean it. Why did this happen?”
  • (14 years old, after mom had told that you shouldn’t use mobile phones or ipads late at night since they destroy your sleep) “If that’s true, why do they make these things?”

We have twin brothers, so let me introduce the younger (by 9 minutes) brother as well. Since the older brother is the storm that disturbs your stories and beliefs, the little brother has become the balancing force. Some observations on his coaching style:

  • (3 years old, family at breakfast, tense and tired atmosphere): “Why don’t we all taste this wonderful jam?”
  • (6 years old, going to sleep): “What if there were no planets, and no humans… would there be just white light?”
  • (13 years old, at home when family members have scattered around the house with their phones, ipads and laptops): “What if we all come to the same room, and just be there together, doing nothing?”

These boys are not special. Every human being has the capacity to transform reality. Let’s live up to our full potential. Let’s challenge ourselves and each other with powerful questions, and let’s listen to the answers carefully.

I look at the future of humankind with trust and humility. The diversity of our sisters and brothers, the ability to ask transforming questions, and the courage to listen to each other – that’s all we need. Our future is bright, and is being born by us, in this moment.

Self-Leadership is about coaching yourself towards renewal. What is your coaching style? Which questions will disturb you the most?

– all the best, Pekka

By Pekka Pirhonen

I do human-centric strategic development involving individuals, teams and organizations. At all levels it’s about creating and directing energy, inner transformation, and synchronization of individual and collective awareness. A shift in being initiates a shift in action.

In my blog "Coaching Corner" at I speak mainly about individual transformation and self-leadership. However, my personal experience tells that there is no separate “me” - I happen in relationships with others and with nature. Therefore my main motto regarding transformative self-leadership says “lead yourself towards others and all living beings”.

And once you’ve established contact, open your heart and mind, listen carefully and engage in powerful dialogue. This will transform you, and the whole world. Be the transformation you want to see in the world.

I am a professional self-leadership coach with ICF PCC-certificate, with a lot of experience in virtual coaching. Interested in all kinds of virtual collaboration, coaching assignments and mutual learning.

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